Thursday, March 3, 2011

Locks of Love

[via ohcardigan]
How's it hangin', lady-bangers?


So hot yoga isn't going very well.


Not only is it hot as a Spanx'd crotch at closin' time in there, but there's this particular pose, the bow pose, which is supposed to look like this:


and just really doesn't when I try to do it.


I've spent the last few weeks flopping helplessly on my stomach like a gasping trout, reaching behind me for feet that simply are not there


Useless!
This morning, in class, as the instructor, Amy, (who wears incredibly distracting pink booty shorts) commanded all of us to get into the bow pose, I sighed inwardly, cursed, and arranged my belly on the mat. 


I thrust out my chest.
I reached behind me.

My feet were there.
And...I grabbed them.
I didn't even think about it.  I just grabbed them.


And then I realized the momentousness of what had just happened.


I had finally grabbed my fucking feet!! I was improving!

"HOLY SHIT!" I shrieked, dropping both feet so hard they smacked behind me like two wet mackerels.  



The class came to a halt.
Everybody stared at me.
[via hungoverowls]
Sluts, I don't know if you know this, but yoga classes tend to value boring things like "serenity" and "silent reflection."


"Leeeeet's just focus on our breathing," said Amy.

Yesterday, I got dizzy in the heat, and instead of promptly sitting down on my mat and drinking water, I elected to not look like a pussy and "push through it." 

I passed out.

Annnnd on Monday, this humongous gay manbear next to me in class was doing a deep bend from the waist, grabbing his ankles, and he farted.



You guys, he farted so loud.
Totally ripped one.

You're supposed to pretend like nothing happened when someone grunts or cuts one in class, but...I burst out laughing.



Loud, immature, inappropriate gales of laughter. 
[via hellogirls]
I could've ignored a little toot, but come. on.


"Eeeeeverybody just focus on their own reflection in the mirror," said Amy.


They're starting to hate me at Bikram.  
[via tornleggings]
But baby steps.


I will never be good at yoga unless I keep it up.


I will never learn to fold myself into interesting positions unless I give myself license to suck at first.
[by terry b.]
We all have to be beginners at some point.


During class, when it seems like every other girl is immaculate, tightly-muscled, and able to do completely fucking obscene bendy things with her legs, I remind myself: once upon a time, they were crap at this, too.

Once upon a time, those girls couldn't reach behind their asses and grab their feet.  

They've just been practicing.  
They've had years of practice!


What's great is: that's also how gaydar works.

You don't wake up one morning and go:  
"Hey! You know what? I think I'm gay! Whooooooa! I can see y'allbitches! There's thousands of dykes right here in my city, under my nose! I had no idea!"



It's not like looking at a Magic Eye. 
You can't just learn a trick and have everything be different.


Being gay does not grace you with instant gaydar. 
It takes years of daily immersion.


As if you were a foreign exchange student in a host country with tits for mountains. 
Like excelling at yoga, and baking perfect, light 'n' fluffy gluten-free scones...


We'll never be good at gaydar if we don't work on it daily.
We just need to practice!
Let's get to it.


Now, an astute reader named Ellen (not the one sleeping with Portia) sent me a lovely letter scolding me for not writing about a totally obvious dyke flirting signal:


The Hair Rumple.


Q: But what is the Hair Rumple?


A: I'm so glad you asked! 


The Hair Rumple is deceptively simple, yet extremely specific. 


We're talking "Advanced Homosexual Wimmyn's Gaydar Theory 1400: A Study in Mating Rituals", here.

In brief, the Rumple occurs when a lesbian takes her hands and messes up her hair on purpose. 

[via tomboyfemme]
Easy, right?


Do the Rumple!


1. Have shortish-to-medium length hair with little to no styling product in it.


2. Be standing near Object of Desire.


3. While speaking to her, look down at feet.


4. Casually run whole hand backwards through hair, making sure there is palm contact on the head.


5. Look up at Object of Desire sheepishly.  Sheepish is key.


6. Run hand forward through hair, making sure to completely mess up everything.


7. Choose between these face settings: 
a) bashful; b) sleepy; c) high/I-just-got-fucked.
[via kathleenm]
The Rumple!


Most often seen on boi-dykes and butches, the Rumple can actually be performed with ease across all lesbian labels, with excellent results.


As astute reader Ellen says, "It's like a puppy doing something cute that it knows is cute but pretends it doesn't."
[via cuteoverload]
Now, hold back your snorts of derision, faggettes.
I already know.

Women play with their hair all the fucking time, it doesn't mean they're lesbians.


OR DOES IT????



Let's think about all the straight girls you know. 
Millions of 'em.
Riding the bus, talking in class, waiting in the checkout line, futzing with their lip gloss in the bathroom mirror at work.


Straight women definitely touch their hair all the damn time. 


Twirling it. 
Running fingers through it. 
Picking at the ends.


Finger-combing, fluffing it up, bending over and tossing up hair to add volume, pulling it into ponytails, tugging on it - you name it.
[via batteredandbruised]
But do most straight women rub their palms all over their heads? 


Their palms?


No. 
Absolutely not. 


If a straight woman was to vigorously rub the palm of her hand back and forth on her head in public, it would cause too much style-wrecking. 


She would fuck up her hair.
(by Emily Tebbetts)
Even if she has "messy" hair, the straight girl's hair is supposed to look messy. 
She's not going to mess it up further with her damn palms - she already styled her hair.  


It's perfectly messy.
[via conorriley]
Now, lesbians just go for it.  
They rub their fingers and palms allllll over their hair.  
[via haylaaadies]
Backwards. Forwards. Backwards again.


Doesn't matter if it fucks things up - the hair looks better rumpled. 
[via cockyshitface]
Dykes can get away with genuinely messy hair. 
It's in the nature of the lesbian haircut
[via kizian]
Floppy. 
Shaved. 
Piece-y. 
Nothing in it. Looks its best when it really did just get fucked.
[via lesbianstrike]
And you don't have to be a butch or boi.  
I'm a femme, and I do the Rumple.  
(I actually just did it few seconds ago, trying to impress the barista at Swim.  She ignored me.  I'm ok.)


Even Tawnya does it, and she has a cascading mane of femme-hair. 
[Tawnya. Photo by Emma Freeman]


Tawnya snorted when I told her what this week's blog was about, agreed with the basic idea, and theorized that homogirls running their hands backwards through their hair releases wild pheromones into the air that only those acutely attuned to woman-lovin' can detect.


Mating pheromones. 

Pheromones that fairly shout: "I'm not afraid to stick my whole hand in a bush."

[via maytagmaytag]
Ellen correctly pointed out that: 


Even guys don't really run their hands through their hair that much.  Only after taking off hats, or when wiping manly sweat off their faces.  


Running their hands through their hair for the express purpose of looking sexy would, paradoxically, be too feminine for society to allow. 

Too much like preening.  


Gay girls alone straddle the divide between "I don't give a fuck how my hair looks ," and "Check out my lesbian haircut and how cute it looks when I mess it up." 
[via lea87]
Now: There will always be exceptions, hos.

Straight girls who run their palms through their hair. 
Dykes who never do.

But exceptions are not what we care about here.
[via mondog]
We're focusing on generalities.
The big picture.
Figuring out which girls are broadcasting the gay, quickly and easily, so we can get laid.

Running your hands backwards through your hair tells other gayelles that you're not afraid to get. in. there. and get your hands dirty.
[via wallofbooks]
It's seriously dykey.

129 comments:

  1. Jesus H Christ I do the rumple all the time. Constantly.
    So dykey.

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    Replies
    1. Same here. I hadn't a clue about it. Well I know I'm gay for sure now....

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    2. Haha i never even realized how much i do the rumple!

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    3. Haha i never even realized how much i do the rumple!

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    4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. i was rumpling through your yoga anecdote and had to take my hand out of my hair in shock.

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  3. 0_____0
    I do this ALL THE TIME....but but I did it before I knew I was a bi girl!
    I'm just a messy person maybe haha

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  4. Oh my goodness. You are so right. I've never even thought about it. It's all in the palms! I don't even have short hair. And I do this. All. THE FUCKING. TIME. Explains so much.

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  5. HA!
    head down, eyes up, sort of embarrassed smirky smile?
    you have called me out.


    ... an every other queer girl i know.

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  6. Thanks for the Gym prep talk. I'm doing this thing that's like a mix of step aerobic and boxing. I keep messing up where I need to step and kick and hit. It's haaard. But as long as you keep going, so will I. ;)

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  7. so busted, i definitely do that all the freakin' time. ugh.

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  8. I'm allowed to have messy hair? Sweet. My hair now has purpose.

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  9. Adorable! I'll be on the watch for that!

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  10. It's also the number one way to run "Clitorference"...watch for it the next time there there are two women competing for attention. They will BOTH have their hands on their heads almost the entire time. It's like a reflex.

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  11. I'm just going to throw this out there...some haircuts were made for the rumple, regardless of whether you're gay or not. There are straight girls who have dykey haircuts, and can you blame them for running their hands all over their heads? On the other hand, doing the rumple totally screams "look at my hair and imagine that it's your hand running through it."

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  12. Yup. Guilty as charged.

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  13. shit. I never realised how much I actually do this until just now...

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  14. dayyymmm...guilty! I do it all the time too even when I used to have long hair before! Lol

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  15. hahaha my girlfriend gives me so much shit when i do that! it is such a completely unconscious thing, but SO TRUE!

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  16. I laughed so hard through this whole entry because I do this all the time and fuck do I know other girls that do this too. It's so obvious. There are so many girls that I make coffee for day in and day out who do this as well... while I make their coffee and we chat.

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  17. I'm kinda turned on now... And totally had my hands all over my hair as I was reading...

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  18. @ amanda
    please don't get your hair in my coffee :(
    i will choke on it and die

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  19. First, my gayness is just about as massive as my love for your blog.

    Second, hi. Have you met my girlfriend? HER weapon of choice: "The Hair-Flip". It's got attitude. It's got flair. It's a full-body maneuver.

    And. It's. Effing. HOT.

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  20. OMG. I never knew why when a girl did this, I would lick my lips and stare at her, unable to speak.

    It's those goddamn pheromones.

    Thank you for clearing this up.

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  21. ACK
    Ive been trying to be more gay-like. Im a total femme and for some reason the lesbians that come into my work just think im being nice when I hit one them.And my co-workers are shocked when they find out.So not fair. And I would totally do this is I didn't have to wear a stupid hat all day.
    The rumple is usually when I'm at home alone

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  22. Is it wrong to point out that Justin Beiber also does this all the time? Then again, he does set the standard for the lesbian haircut, let's be honest.

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  23. don't you mean lez be honest?

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  24. Oh how I love the rumble!! ;) There is nothing sexier, and you are right, I have never though about how wrong it would look if a guy or straight girl did it...its all ours!

    I also love your yoga comments, and I love when people fart in class! There is this adorable little old lady who wears all purple, purple mat, purple block, purple...you get the picture. Anyways, she always farts and it takes absolutely every amount of yogic restraint that I have to not giggle!

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  25. Epic. Fucking. Post. !!
    The lesbian Dougie!

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  26. Every single lesbian I have ever known does this ALL THE TIME.

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  28. Your blog makes my happy gayness bubble up on the inside :-D

    ...and laugh out loud on quiet trains...

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  29. "[Your blog] makes me fly. High." - Friends: TOW The Tiny T-shirt

    Your yoga accounts crept into my consciousness when I was in the middle of a midterm exam and when I laughed out loud I had all eyes on me. Apparently, exam rooms and yoga classes both have a thing for "silent reflection"...

    Hair rumple. Hm, that would explain why my wife always does the hair-grab-check before she approves of my mop chop.

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  30. PROOF that Kristen Stewart is the biggest lesbian ever.

    Also, the many many Demi/Selena shippers would be extremely disappointed in you using their picture after referencing "straight girls" XD

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  31. So. True. I kept picturing a few of my friends with the dyke hair. They do this all the time. Doesn't work so well with my long mane, but I've been known to occasionally rumple...

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  32. holy shit i have done that since before i can remember. i remember my mom yelling at me for messing up my hair after she spent hours putting it into curls and ribbons for easter, every year. I do note it is much easier with my hair short now.

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  33. Dykes, we've finally figured it all out! Look down, smile slightly, mess up hair, get laid. It's my only game plan and I'm always surprised when it works so well.

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  34. Definitely guilty of this and not even just when I'm trying to look cute. Sometimes it's just when I see a dyke and want to like like Hey! look at me I'm a dyke too!!!

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  35. I used to take aikido classes, and one really hot day I tried to "push through" feeling dizzy because I kinda had a crush on the girl who was teaching me. I eventually realized I was in trouble and went to get a drink, and woke up on the floor next to the sink. I stood up, tried taking my shirt off or something, and pretty much immediately passed out again.

    I do the hair thing pretty much constantly

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  36. i used to do the hair rumple all the time when i was a butch baby dyke. now that i'm femme with long hair it doesn't work as well. so sad.

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  37. Oh god, my girlfriend does this all the time. It's so fucking sexy. I'd do it if my hair weren't insanely curly and between my waist and my tailbone. This hair doesn't allow for the rumple. So I'll just rumple her.

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  38. I do the "hair rumple" all the time.

    I'm bald though...so it's probably not cute....

    :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's still cute. :)

      i kept my hair clippered to no more than 1/4" for several years and still did the rumple all the time... and got the desired reaction often enough to be assured that it's still cute.

      Delete
  39. Hey, Krista! Once a month some place in Wallingford (yep, Seattle) has this "class" where everybody goes and just laughs for one hour. Supposed to be some kind of yoga, I think. You would be good at that. You should lead it. Why do you want to do regular yoga anyway? Oh...so you can fold yourself into interesting positions. Oooooh. Good luck, trout girl!

    And about the gaydar: I am new at this, but suddenly my eyes have been opened. They are everywhere! I can spot 'em. It's like being born again and being given the gift of talking in tongues. I have the gift. Yes I do. Could be a whole lot of wishful thinking, though...

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  40. OMG. OMGOMGOMG. I was doing that exact action you describe.
    Suddenly I feel so awkward... I always felt relatively, y'know... straight.
    Thanks for, um... showing me the light. Or something.

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  41. Ahaha it never occurred to me that this was a queer thing! I do it all the time! I boast about having natural bedhead! xD

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  42. I chop my hair off about once a year, so that time during the summer that I don't have a long flowing mane... I rumple. Constantly.
    And never noticed it until reading this.

    The odd part though is that I'm the only person (male, female, gay, straight) that I know that does.

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  43. i know a lot of straight girls who do the palm thing. like all the popular girls in my school.

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  44. Ya know who else does this? Kristen Stewart. Just sayin.

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  45. nooooofuckinway!

    I definitely do this all the time and never knew! This is fantastic.

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  46. The long, hussy hair version of The Rumple is the Zsuzs ("zs" pronounced like in "Zsa Zsa Gabor"). It is administered to both increase volume & texture, and to create an 'I fuck people REALLY well' look for attracting both Rumplers and other Zsuzsers. One simply scrunches the hair closest to the scalp a few times and flips one side messily to the other. ZSUZS.

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  47. Whenever I was younger, my mom thought it would be a fun idea for our family to take yoga classes together. It was me, her, and my dad.

    I loved the yoga - but I could never be serious the entire time. My dad would start snoring whenever we started the relaxation meditation at the end of class. And fart, he would do that on a somewhat regular basis during class. You'd think after a few weeks I would get used to this, but nope! Laughed out loud every time (so did my mom).

    Perhaps this is why my dad gets embarrassed to do family activities together, it's hard to say.

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  48. Bikram is super worth all the pain and frustration. Best life choice ever.
    I used to also get super dizzy and my instructor recommended drinking coconut water when that happens. I will tell you, it's a miracle gets rid of my dizziness and nausea after a few sips and about of minute of rest.

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  49. You're so right, Krista! If a straight girl did the rumple, it would totally throw off my gaydar and leave me in a state of deep perplexity. The rumple is truly the property of dykes.

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  50. Oh god. I do the rumple all the time and I didn't even realize it!

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  51. Kristen Stewart is guilty of doing this all the time. Yet another trait to add to the list of 'why Kristen is massively gay'. Not that anymore evidence was required

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  52. would love to take a yoga class with you. those yoga peeps are too damn serious. and congrats to you on grabbing your feet!

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  53. Yes, Gaystew does this all the time! She just needs to come out already.

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  54. I do it in part to show off that the sides of my head are shaved, because if I don't tie it back into a mohawk sometimes you can't tell. And I don't want any potential dykefriends to miss out on my dyketastic yet stealthy haircut.

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  55. "Pheromones that fairly shout: "I'm not afraid to stick my whole hand in a bush." LOL. I freakin love your blog. Also I think if everyone laughed during yoga class, the farts would be LESS AWKWARD. Seriously, farts are funny!

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  56. I'm taking Yoga too! And I always feel like such a spaz, especially when called to do the camel pose where you try and reach back and grab for your ankles while on your knees.

    But yes! I remember Shane doing this all the time. (L word always applicable.)

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  57. You seriously read my mind. I noticed that I did this the other day, and thought, "That's weird. Why do I do that?" It's like a fucking compulsion.

    My gaydar is improved 3% by your post. Thank you.

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  58. You know who is totally one of us?

    http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/uponsun/conor.jpg

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0134852adab0970c-320wi

    Never mind that he's male... totally could pass for Winona Ryder...

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  59. This chipmunk: it is also one of us. Double-handed rumple, no less!

    http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/03/03/funny-pictures-gifs-slow-mo-chipmunk-hair/

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  60. I was flirting with a girl earlier today, and we both had our hands in our hair pretty much the entire time.

    What would my gaydar be without you, Krista? Pathetic, that's what.

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  61. I swear to god...

    I binged through your blog a while back and most/all lesbians I know pretty much sound like everything you have ever described.

    ever.

    That isn't an exaggeration.

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  62. I have long wavy hair... And I do this. Constantly. I always have my hand in my hair, and especially when there are cute girls around. Look down, smirk, rumple, look up, feel sexy.

    Fuck yeah.

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  63. @ Anonymous 5:20 p.m.

    Yeah, as a Demi / Selena shipper, I was all like, "HOO BOY THOSE ARE NOT STRAIGHT GIRLS". Demi spends way too much time creepin' on Selena in Princess Protection Program for that. And I'm going to go be quiet now.

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  64. I must say that I have almost fucking perfect gaydar. Like as accurate a percentage as Lysol kills germs. Bad comparison I know, but anyways I realized over the past year of reading your blog, that I never noticed the super gay stuff that I do. This 'rumple' totally being one of them. (also the dyke nod was a crazy shocker for me)
    So basically I just wanted to say thank you, because there are so many wonderful things that I do that are super gay, and now I know some that I didn't know before :)

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  65. Oh shit I do this all the damn time.

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  66. I always wondered whether this was a dyke thing! I often find myself walking down the street to loud music on my iPod, scrubbing my hand through the back of the short layers and feeling like I have hot, just-fucked hair. And that I'm now irresistable. Hah. Sadly, my girl gadar really does SUCK, so I haven't tried it out on cutesy dykes yet- but I do this, a lot, when I wanna feel sexy. Hmmmm....
    Krista, you're brilliant. As fucking always. <3

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  67. I do the rumple ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I think I did it before I knew I was gay. My inner faggot is showing!

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  68. Seriously, every time I take the gaydar quiz or read your pointers, the needle on my les-bi gauge dips further and further into the rainbow range. From smirks to plaid to… well all of it! Ha. Thanks lady!

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  69. Add me to the list of dykes who do the rumple. Hell yeah.

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  70. Ah, I love you again! But I don't know about how long it takes to be bendy. When me and my sistres were kids our mom and us would goof off all of the time and try to so stuff like getting into full lotus and walking on our knees across the carpet until we fell on our faces. (Yeah, Mom f'ing rocked.) And I was always trying to band around and walk up walls and contort while reading because it felt good. Maybe I watched too much Inspector Gadget and Plastic Man, but it just felt good. My point I guess is that I'm almost like rubber. But I don't do this shit all of the time anymore.
    Maybe it's a mental limitation. I've read that hypnotism has shown how much we limit our bodies against what they are realy capable of doing. Goooooozfrabbaaaaah (or whatever the hell it is)leeeettt goooo, like Mayor McCheese-cutter. Like you did. It'll work.
    As for the rumple, I prefer to look like I just left a wind tunnel, and have my whole life. Goddamn it feels sexy. I have no fucking clue what else to do with my hair anyway. Kinda like fellow Libran Cyndi Lauper. I just got a new shampo and conditioner called Ren Pro. It smells like a hellish salon, but it's organic and it makes me play with my hair con.stant.ly. Which, in turn, makes me want a shag (not the hair cut) BUT I don't like bush. On myself or anyone, really. Because it's a choking hazard that never fails to take me back to that holiday episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. The nativity one where Larry David gets his wife's pube stuck in his throat and can't get it out for the whole show until Joseph from the nativity punches him for ogling his wife. Ack, ack, ACK!! Nope, fuzz is bayuhd. I won't tell anone what to do, but I will ask nicely for a trim if I start to feel like George of the Jungle.
    Anyway, thanx for another masterpiece. You effing rule!

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  71. Someone needs to make a GIF of this.

    ReplyDelete
  72. A variation on the rumple has been a lynchpin in my flirting arsenal for as long as I can remember... I do the looking-up thing while messing my hair up, less of the entire-palm-rubbing-all-over-head thing.
    It's not a 100% pure rumple, but definitely different to a basic straight-girl hair swish. Makes sense - I'm bi.

    I love how you can identify so many things few of us even realise we do!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Let me just say, I ADORE YOU! I'm always so exited to find a new post, it makes my day. :)

    I just started doing roller derby, and like you, there were some things I just thought I COULD NOT do. Then, all of a sudden, I'd realize, I'M DOING IT, and also like you, would usually exclaim loudly, "YES!!!! I did it! Holy shit, I ROCK!", completely to the dismay and/or entertainment of my teammates. I, too, don't do well with keeping my emotions silent and under control, lol!

    And as for the rumple, I've been doing it for YEARS, and I have 'femme' hair. Actually, I have red curls, and sometimes by doing this I make myself look slightly like Bozo the Clown. Even tho I'm aware of this, I can't seem to help it. Now I know why! Straight friends have been giving me shit about it for forever.

    I find it amazing that I am a 'late-in-life lesbian', but have been doing all the things you list ALL MY LIFE. If only you'd have been around way back when, I'd have always known! Lol!

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  74. what about the chestgrab [on themselves] men do? straight, is all i can observe, seems a bit rumply. how you can fit so much fantastic stuff into one post, amazing.
    i love the tits for mountains. speechless-love it.

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  75. Ha! Yes! Thank you! A classmate asked the other day:
    How do you possibly get your hair so messy? You looked great this morning but now I would have thought you were just back from a windstorm, you do this everyday, seriously, you need gel or something!

    (haha! Wonderful, she's the straightest girl I know!)

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  76. This is rediculously true! Lol, I subconsciously did this with my now-girlfriend then-crush. I guess it worked ;)

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  77. I just did the rumple while passing a gorgeous girl.

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  78. Butch dykes with shaved heads do a version of this, too. Palm rub on head, sheepish look or rakish grin. It has the double-whammy of getting our crushes/tricks to imagine our hands caressing their bodies while also imagining caressing our heads while making out. Mmmm...

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  79. hahaha... i do this all the time at work when *object of desire* is around.... it's definitely an impulsive thing but i love to think she's watching and wishing it were her hands instead :-P

    i also think it makes me insanely obvious and i can't figure out if this is a good or bad thing. gotta be careful at work, right?

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  80. Now I understand how I can start the work day with a perfect pixie fauxhawk and by mid day I'm a messy mess. It is the fault of all those cute critical care nurses I work with.

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  81. I would giggle uncontrollably over yoga farts too. I saw this video today and thought I'd share it with you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4gK3RRtCHw&tracker=False

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  82. Ohgod. How did I not know about this before.

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  83. My boyfriend so hates my lesbian hair cut... I think it's instinctive. o.O lol

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  84. Love your post (as always...)

    Do any strait girls read this blog? because i wonder how many of them do this, I know a few (straight) girls who do... messes with the gaydar!

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  85. I'm thinking about just getting one of these cuts instead of coming out verbally....hmm

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  86. I second the gif because I am having trouble seeing this in my mind and I don't think I do it. If it's anything like what KStew is always doing with her hair then she might be a good source for one.

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  87. I have thick, long, curly hair. I do some sort of hair rumple-y thing, but my techniques are different from the norm, because my hair type would not allow it.

    But you are so right. I'll remember to do this around certain people...

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  88. I feel that I must share a story: I used to do yoga a couple times a week. I really enjoyed it. I'd put my little yoga clothes on, unroll my mat and get my zen on. But there was this woman in class, and for some reason she ALWAYS, no matter what, ended up in front of me. No big deal, except for the fact that she was The Farter. Whenever we would bend at the waist, going to touch our toes, she would fart in my face. It's much harder to get my zen on with fart floating around my nostrils.

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  89. <.< I'm a guy... and I do the rumple thing I now feel extremely weird >.>

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  90. So, is the M&M picture really a Magic Eye? I can't see anything.

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  91. I went to Hatha yoga today and someone farted and my mind immediately came back to this post. Love it!

    And I LOVE the hair rumple. I do it and think it's so sexy when a woman does it.

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  92. check this out:

    http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhtaqgbeTY1qd9e6jo1_500.gif

    was meryl doing a hair rumple?!

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  93. just wanted to let ya know if you misspell your website name and write effingdykes.blopsot.com you are redirected to a bible study site. i dunno if you can do anything about this. i thought it was funny and then decided that shit should be illegal.

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  94. I've rumpled my hair unconsciously in front of dykes so many times. Looking back, it didn't really work. Guess not everyone's aware of this.

    ...gotta spread the lesbian love.

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  95. Ha! I've always done this, but now, in my very single, femme, mildly to moderately awkward state, I've found myself doing it far more often this week. (unlikely that this will help me pick up women, but you know).
    Wonderful!

    And huge CONGRATULATIONS! I hope this will lead to you having fabulous dream jobs in years to come, and putting more words into the world that bring joy, comfort, comedy and a sense of not-craziness to individuals in this world!!!
    (Your blog keeps me sane in my (gay)male-dominated academic world, thank you for that!)

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  96. You explained it perfectly! The hair rumple. So cute. I've seen it. I'll know to keep an eye out for it.

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  97. http://www.mixcloud.com/waxmouse/feel-the-folk-mixtape-4/?utm_source=redirect&utm_medium=shorturl&utm_campaign=cloudcast

    This is the best mix for reading your blog - and the Hair rumple worked again (woo!), although, this morning we tried to fix a greenhouse and I dropped a drill on her face.
    On. Her. Face.
    I'm such an idiot.
    <3

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  98. Dammit. I'm a gay guy and I do this. >.<

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  99. Dang. I may fuck mostly dudes and the occasional lady, but apparently my haircut is TOTALLY GAY/TOTALLY AWESOME.

    I knew that I had some obvious queerness somewhere.

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  100. With hair half way to my ass, this is near impossible. I'm a femme with no way to show my love!

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  101. I'm a straight girl with a long mane but I do something like this all the time. Except, uh, straighter? Like, I rumple my hair but then I put it back into place. I go to a women's college though, and I know an abundance of awesome lesbians, and I know exactly what you're talking about! It's so cute!

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  102. I'd have to disagree with some of this, I think I have this "Rumple" down like a fucking champ. I mean I guess I've had years of practice since I do it all the time and this is the first time I've come across someone else talking about it. I couldn't take my eyes off a cute girl at the store today, and I didn't even think "Oh look cute girl gonna run my hand through my hair so she noticed how cute and sheepish I am." I just did it ya know?

    The thing is, I'm a dude.

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  103. Long- haired girl here, and I do the hair rumble way to much for it to be healthy :P I just like feeling hands in my hair. To have somebody run their hands trough your hair, braid it or heaven glory, when a hairdresser massages your scalp... God mercy :')

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  104. Thank you for the extra incentive to cut my hair short again! I am constantly playing with my hair, but all attempts at the rumple have resulted in a very unsexy bird's nest looking mess on my head, which then only falls back into place because I have perfect straight girl hair that does shit like that. Humph.

    Also, the hottie with the red hair, copious tatts, and the dimple ring in the nude - please tell me she's that cute in person??? (and that this isn't some random pic someone sent you and she's a real human being..... maybe from the so cal area?)

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  105. haha, totally called me. when i'm stressed my hand is GLUED to my hair.

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  106. just realised i do that all the time, well, when I'm around someone that catches my eye....

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  107. Shit, I do the Rumple all the time.

    Especially around my crush.
    DAMN IT I THOUGHT I WAS FEMME.

    I suppose all those skinny jeans and plaid and supposed 'dyke hair' are a bit of a give away.

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  108. i'm a guy and i do this, just saying

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  109. >.> I did this yesterday in the bathroom full of girls and I got hit on by my hair style and my clothing style LOL

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  110. I need to cut my hair now, when it was cut, it felt FANATIC to ruffle, plus, my hair got super fluffy, and all of the girls wanted to touch. So it helped my shyness around cute girls, it's hard to not talk to the girl who is stroking you like a kitty.

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  111. omg Ani DiFranco totes did the rumple right before her execution in that song "Crime for Crime"

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  112. I was three quarters of the way through before I realized that I had been rumpling this whole time. Feels good, and looks adorable.

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  113. I do the rumple. All the time.

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  114. Haha, the rumple... man I love it when my friend does that, she always does one of those looks afterwards too... it's waaaay too cute.

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  115. Problem. I'm super femme with longish hair that I never brush as that would result in a white girl afro. Tried to pull off the rumple and it resulted in my hand getting lodged in my hair. Rings got stuck, hair got ripped..it was not pretty. Any suggestions?

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  116. I do this all the time and i never payed much attetion but omg haha

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  117. No way! I never noticed the hair rumple thing, but... Guilty as charged. <D

    Awesome. I gotta pay more attention to the other girls in the future.

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  118. Interesting... I never do the rumple because I never touch my hair once its done. This probably has to do with the fact that I have a short black mohawk that gets hair sprayed so it doesn't move around or fall apart during the day so I never ever touch it while its up. I get a lot of people going "o cool..' when they see my hair and proceed to reach out to touch it. I flinch and say, "NEVER TOUCH A LESBIANS HAIR" Everyone I know now knows to never touch my mohawk and the only people I will let touch it is lesbians Im having sex with. yea. Thats right baby,need a hand hold while your cumming? Grab my hair and hold on tight... yum yum..

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  119. I even rumple my girlfriends hair FOR her - then she goes all cute and we cuddle <3

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